The Alcoholic's Invocation

Dear reader:

There are times in life when you meet crazy people in the streets. These moments are those that make missionary work most exciting (second to spiritual moments, of course). Usually they are under the influence of something, such as alcohol, marijuana, meth, infatuation, or insanity. Most of the time we pray with them. Well, this week we had another "Lunatic Prayer in an Alley" instance.

We met a very sentimental alcoholic in the street sitting on a bench. It became very clear that he was not in his right mind the moment he responded to our invitation to hear a message. However, he wanted to supplicate with us, and he even offered to pray himself, so of course we complied (who wouldn't). His prayer was so funny and unexpected that I wrote it down after it happened. You, dear friend, are lucky enough that you get to read it. Please imagine the slurred voice of a sentimental old fellow as you read this (Remember to have a long dramatic pause in between each line). Imagine the cool of the evening, and hearing the sound of traffic in the background. Imagine the faint buzzing of the fluorescent light overhead, and you can even throw in some choked laughter from a surprised missionary after you hear the word "wench". The prayer went as follows (He addressed Heavenly Father at the beginning of every line, but I will only put it at the start to avoid too frequent repetition):

Heavenly Father,

give you thanks for this bench...

I give you thanks for that wench...

I thank you for these guys...

I thank you for the blue skies...

Thanks for all that you are...

Thanks for your shining star,

 Jesus Christ, amen.

So yes, it was funny, but it is also nice to realize that there are many people with faith in Jesus Christ in this world. His prayer wasn't all that bad, really. It was just really funny that it rhymed, and the fact that it was completely capricious and arbitrary.

Anyway, this week was a good one. Not too many interesting things happened in the work. We are still trying to find people to teach. Recently we have gotten a lot of referrals, but none of them have answered the door yet. Transfers are coming soon, and I really hope that Elder Miller and I will be able to train here in Olympia. That would be awesome. Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Also, our Recent Convert Andrew was struck with how profound Alma 34:32 was. Do we take this truth for granted? We know our purpose, but the world really doesn't. You should consider sharing your testimony about the Plan of Salvation this week. If you do, I promise you'll be able to increase your personal testimony of it, so will you? Good. Now you have been sufficiently committed. Now that you know these things, see that you do them.

  

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Elder Benge

Knock And It Shall Be Opened

1. Rob before his baptism.

2. A candid photo of myself taking by another missionary. (What a weirdo, right? ;)

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Elder Benge

Luau, Luau, Skip To My Luau

You know you're in Olympia when...

- The majority of men shave their legs and armpits and everything, while the majority of women have hairy armpits and hairy thighs, wearing tank tops for all the world to see.

- You find that 45% of the people you see fit under the gender category of either "androgynous" or "anonymous".

- You can see a rainbow no matter where you are and no matter what direction you are facing.

- You spend 15 minutes talking to a random person about kale. ("We make kale hats, and kale gauntlets. You have to keep them refrigerated so they don't wilt." They were joking, but also sort of serious.)

-There are no plastic bags. You either have to buy paper, or you have to carry it all in your arms. It makes it really tough *sob* because I like reusing plastic bags as garbage can liners and such. If anybody wants to mail me some, I would be very happy. *sob sob* Please save me. Life is so hard... :'( (Jk. Although if you do send me plastic bags, I would definitely use them)

-The streets are organized in an illogical manner and are designed more for the ease of pedestrians and cyclists than they are for the people in actual cars.

In other words, it's a great place to be a missionary. :)

This week we had our ward Luau. It sounded like a great experience, and we had a lot of investigators come. This ward is wonderful and is very missionary oriented. For the Luau, they killed a huge pig (more than 200 lbs) and cooked it in an authentic Hawaiian fashion, swathing it in banana leaves and digging a prodigious hole in the ground to cook it in. Unfortunately (but fortunately at the same time), I did not attend with my companion, because we got permission to do a temporary exchange with some other missionaries so that I could go to a baptism in Belfair! That's right, folks!  Somebody I taught in Belfair actually got baptized eventually! It was a great experience, and I was very glad to see Rob finally baptized. The rest of his family will soon follow.

Anyway, back to the swine: Elder Miller ended up carving the sow the for most of the event, and we took home a hefty bag of meat due to the unbelievable proportion of meat that was left even after so many people partook of it.

What is my point in telling you all of this? Ummm... I have no quacking idea, although I suppose it goes to show how bountiful this world is. Our Father in Heaven provides us with everything we need. We are so blessed, and ought to show more gratitude for what we have been given. Speaking of blessings, we had quite a few miracle investigators just pop out of the woodwork this week. Elder Miller and I have been working very hard this transfer just finding and finding and grinding and finding,  but have seen no real success in it until now. We had two people call us this week who have been struggling with something and want to come to church. I have never met either one, and both are interested in hearing a message from us. Cynthia called on Saturday asking for a ride to church on Sunday. She then stayed all 3 hours, and met many members who all feel that she is prepared to be taught and baptized. Holy quagmire! God really does bless us for our efforts! We were doing all that we could, and God brought us some investigators (although none of them came from where we thought they would).

God blesses us when we obey. We may not now how he will bless us, but he always does.

I also just wanted to share this scripture with you:

Revelation 3:21

21 To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

Through Jesus Christ, we can have everything that the Father has. Everything. He loves us enough that he wants us to be able to have the best we can. It is up to us whether or not we will endure and receive that, or give up and give in. 
I love this Gospel. I know that it is true, and I know that Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration. I love you all, have a great week!

--

Elder Benge

Holy Ghost Peppers

I am so sorry. I don't have much time this week (again). However, this week I ate a ghost pepper. It felt like I was trying to inhale outer darkness and an running internal combustion engine at the same time. It was way cool. I feel like a man. But you know what makes me feel even more like a man (man of God, not natural man)? Teaching by the Spirit. Seriously. Whenever the Spirit is with us, and we humbly follow the promptings we receive, we will be led aright. 

I am very grateful for God's love, and for this opportunity to be on a mission. Have a wonderful week, my dearest amigos.

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Elder Benge

Porta-Potty Pondering

The air was cool and humid, and permeated with the unholy and pungent stench of human waste. The constant sound of rain drumming on the green plastic roof vibrated the air, battering it's way through my ears and into my thoughts. The poor lighting filtering through both cloud and translucent plastic only dimly illuminated the cramped enclosure I was squatting in, revealing the nauseously green stall I inhabited. In my hand, I held fast to some miscellaneous stationary we had found previously while rummaging through the car in desperation*. I clung to these papers as if they were my only lifeline to the world I had once known.

It was in such destitute circumstances that I had a very surreal moment, suddenly realizing where I was, and what had become of my life, and also that it was my 19th birthday. You know, life certainly likes to throw some nice curve balls. It was also in those infelicitous circumstances that I suddenly had two very strong feelings overcome me: Humor and gratitude.

If you had told me 11 months ago that a time would come on my mission that I would be compelled to use a dilapidated old porta potty in the midst of an unexpected rainstorm on my mission, I probably would have laughed and called you a deluded old heifer. If you had told Elder Miller before his mission that he would spend 3 months constantly accompanied by an albino Fijian, he probably would have guffawed and punched you in the shoulder. (I am not an albino Fijian, but one of his previous companions was).

My point is, life is pretty absurd, and we never really know what sort of things are going to happen to us. However, I certainly wouldn't have it any other way. It is the details, and the unexpected moments, and the sweet moments, and the embarrassing moments, and the moments of inertia that make life real. It is the hard times, and the confusing times, and the times of learning that help us to grow, and to become something. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father, who I know is molding me into a better person, a better father, a better son, a better citizen, a better husband. That is what I want to be, but I have no power in and of myself to bring those changes to past. It is only through the Atonement, through mercy, through faith and through trials that we can be refined and become a person we would have never expected.

I am also very grateful for a sense of humor. A sense of humor can turn an embarrassing moment into a golden memory. It can turn a pathetic romance into a cherished experience. I am just very grateful for the truths that can help us become more brilliant and valiant Sons and Daughters of our Father in Heaven. 

1 Corinthians 15:10 

Who have you become through the grace of Jesus Christ? What is your fondest dream? If it is in line with God's will for you, you can have it if you are faithful. (See the words to the hymn, "I Believe In Christ).

Anyway, I guess that is all I have for the week. I love you all, and thank you to those who sent me birthday messages.

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Elder Benge

*There was no toilet paper in the Porta potty, hence the miscellaneous stationary.

Seventies Times Seven (And Divided By 3.5)

Unfortunately, my time is dwindling. This week we had two General Authorities (Seventies), Elder Uceda and Elder Clayton, come to our mission. The experience was marvelous. I don't have much time to go into detail, but I will say that I know that these men, and the Apostles and President Monson and all the other people we sustain, are actually called of God. I know that they love us. I am with Elder Miller. He is awesome. He is also done emailing, and is waiting for me. In the meantime, he is entertaining himself by scooting himself around on a rolling chair backwards, making interesting noises. His sporadic bursts of jerky movement remind me vaguely of a large one-legged frog trying to get to the pond in the middle of a dry spell. So yeah, I should hurry up. He is getting bored. He is way awesome, and he is from Draper, Utah. This is definitely going to be a fantastic transfer. Listen to the words of the prophets and apostles. They will protect you. Always listen to the still, small voice. It will protect you. Remember that God wants you to be happy. Have a great week!

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Elder Benge

Publishing Them Haikus

It seems one of my haikus may have been put into a book of haikus! How cool is that. Here is the photo with the haiku written on it.

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Elder Benge

Every Day I'm Shu-Shufflin'

This week was certainly filled with mix-ups, plot twists, exchanges, and absolutely hilarious happenings. 

One classical comedic idea is the idea of mistaken identity, in which someone is mistaken for someone else and it causes a whole slew of mishaps, problems, and ultimately, comedy. We can easily think of a few movies involving this or some aspects of it, such as "Hot Lead and Cold Feet" and "The Court Jester", among many others. We can even go back to Shakespeare and see this comedic concept portrayed in "A Comedy Of Errors" (Which is a fine comedy, if I do say so myself)>

However, I must admit that I have never seen such a situation play out in real life... until this week. Boy oh boy, I was having a hoot and a holler. Allow me to set the stage...

This week we were scheduled to have dinner with some of the Ward Missionaries in our ward, the Swensens. I should also mention that on this day we were on exchanges, so I (still new to the area) was the only one who knew what was going on at all. Now, the Swensens had been on vacation for quite a while, and were thus a little bit out of the loop on who we were teaching and had baptized recently, etc. Anyway, we had planned to have one of our recent converts, Vick (an older gentleman with a fine sense of humor), attend dinner with us as well so he could feel more welcomed in to the ward. As we were knocking on the Swensens door at the appointed time, we heard a car coming up behind us. Naturally, I assumed it was Brother Swensen returning after having picked up Vick for dinner. I was right, but I was also somewhat wrong. You see, Brother Swensen was driving the car, and he definitely thought  he had picked up Vick, but let me tell you: It was not Vick. It was some random guy I had never seen before. I wasn't sure what was going on until Brother Swensen got out of the car and said, "Welcome to our house, Vick!".  The supposed 'Vick' then promptly walked up to me with a confused and desperate look in his eye and said "Hello, I'm John". Right then and there, I knew dinner was going to be awesome. 

"Hello, John! Nice to meet you!" I responded, hoping Brother Swensen would get the hint. He didn't. and he escorted the bewildered John into his house, and started introducing him to his family as "Vick". After each introduction, John would great his new acquaintance with an increasingly exasperated and desperate cry of "Hello! I'm John." Nobody seemed to catch on. At this point, I couldn't hold it in and I hurriedly went into the bathroom where I started laughing out of both nerves and humor. Yeah, it was a funny situation, but it might also end badly if I didn't figure out how to remedy the situation. I quickly waved Elder Seegmiller (from Layton, Utah, by the way) in to the room and explained the situation to him. This whole time we keep hearing John hopelessly trying to correct the error with even more fervency after each subsequent introduction, while still trying to be as polite as possible. "Hello! I am JOHN." 

Anyway, as we came in to the room, it was still clear that no one had any idea as to the true identity of this stranger, and everyone still seemed unworried and totally convinced that he was Vick. Finally, Brother Swensen, sensing some disturbance in the force, pulled out a business card John had apparently handed to him earlier and looked at the name on it. Then he nudged me and leaned over. "I don't think this guy is Vick." He whispered conspicuously, pointing at the name. Way to go, Sherlock Swensen. I hastily and emphatically shook my head, indicating my relief and verifying his suspicions. After that, it all cleared up, and we had a wonderful dinner with John. (Apparently, Brother Swensen had picked him up for church a few months ago and couldn't remember his name, but thought it was John. It seems John had no qualms about jumping unexpectedly into a car to go to an unscheduled dinner with the Mormons. Meanwhile, poor Vick is sitting at home bewildered, wondering where his dinner we up with him was)

Anyway, we called Vick, and everything ended up good. I almost started busting up laughing in the middle of dinner several times as I imagined Brother Swensen knocking on John's door and saying. "You ready for dinner?" 

To which John, though almost certainly befuddled then responded trustingly "Yeah, sure."
Maybe he has people randomly pick him up for dinner all the time. Who knows?

Anyway, it was a great experience, and there is a gospel application behind it. Our identity is very important because our identity determines our potential. Most people do not understand our identity in this world. In Acts 17:28-29, Paul teaches that we are the offspring of God. Still, most people do not understand what it really means to be a child of God. Have you thought about it recently? That should be our first and foremost identifying thought about ourselves. I urge you all to remember what it means to truly be a child of God. You have the spark of divinity within you. God loves you and wants what is best for you. He has a plan to bring you to your fullest potential, and to a fullness of joy. Anyway, that is all I have for you, but remember that. As it says in Lion King, (insert majestic Sky-Lion Mufasa voice) "Remember who you are..."

Psalm 82:6

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We also got transfer calls this week. I will be staying and getting Elder Miller. Hathaway will be leaving to Tacoma! Have a great week, dear friends and family!

--

Elder Benge

Dunk... Dunk... GOOSE!

This week was a whirlwind of wonderfulness! On Monday, we invited an investigator named Andrew (who had previously been reluctant to accept a baptismal date) to be baptized 5 days later, on Saturday. He accepted, and against all odds was baptized two days ago! It was such a wonderful and miraculous experience. Let me begin at the start...

4 weeks ago, we received a referral from LDS.org to bring Andrew a Bible and a Book of Mormon. We met with him, bringing the required materials, and taught him the Restoration. He listened well, but talked about how he was a member of another church. He came to our church that week, but had to leave early to go to his other church. He also rejected our invitation to be baptized. He didn't seem to be progressing, so we dropped him a few lessons later. Fast forward to last week.....

We suddenly receive another referral from LDS.org. it says the exact same thing as the other message. We are not sure where it came from, because it looks like the earlier one was somehow duplicated and sent to us again. We decided we should go back. This time, he told us he had been reading the Book of Mormon and had seen miracles in his life from it and believed it. He was still reluctant at the thought of being baptized, but he came to church again, this time to Fast and Testimony meeting. When we met with him the next day and invited him to be baptized, he accepted, saying that after reading the Book of Mormon and hearing those testimonies in church, he knew that God wanted him to be baptized. He also shared with us a very personal and miraculous experience he had had many years earlier that now finally understood to mean he needed to be baptized. I won't share the experience here because it was very personal, but suffice to say it was incredible, and I definitely know that God watches out for his children knows who he wants in his church. Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't make that very interesting, but I loved the experience. Being able to watch someone you have come to love be baptized is as indescribably wonderful as watching a baby stand for the first time. 
God knows us. He understands our weaknesses and has prepared a way through the Atonement for us to overcome them. I am so very grateful for this Gospel, and I know that this church is true. Also, here is my address for now:

300 Kenyon St. NW unit U4

Olympia, WA

98502

I love you all, and I am so very grateful for all of you who have been examples and blessings in my life. I'm even vaguely grateful to those of you who were bad examples and curses in my life. (just kidding, none of you were those.)

I would also like to leave you all with a quote that has actually helped me make a lot of good decisions in my life. This quote is from one of the books in the Fablehaven series, and for some reason the quote has stuck with me for a long time (By the way, I think the author, Brandon Mull, is a Mormon):

"Smart people learn from their mistakes, but the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others."

So true. This is why we have parents and other adult leaders. I suggest that you learn from them.

Psalm 1:1-2

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Elder Benge

The Blacker The Berry, The Sweeter The Juice

I've been quoting a lot of songs in my titles recently, haven't I?

Me holding some freshly picked blackberries:

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Elder Benge