Monday, March 20, 2017

Kiss The Girl

There you see her,
Staggering outside the pub
But now it's too late to run
She's already seen you...

Now, hold your scampering horseflies, everyone. Before you start imagining what is coming next, I'd just like to say that this week was a great one, though also very slow. There. Now that we got that out of the way, let's fast forward to the most exciting thing this week! The most exciting event this week  on St. Patrick's Day. This is the story of my.... 🍀ST. PATRICK'S DAY MIRACLE!!!!!🍀
Really, though, it wasn't actually a miracle; it was just a..... very uncomfortable situation. 
Elder Jocelyn and I made the mistake of street contacting outside the many pubs in our area on St. Patrick's day. Just so you all know, I actually never knew that it was a St. Patty's day tradition to get drunk that night. I had no idea. I was walking around looking at how crowded it was, and say to Elder Jocelyn: "What the heck? Does everybody just get drunk on St. Patrick's day?"
Good job, Sherlock.
So yes, I am naive. Anyway, we met a lady who was very drunk, and she started talking about how she had a Mormon friend who was in an accident, and she wanted us to pray for her. So we said we would, but she wouldn't take our word alone. She asked me to pinky promise, so I did. Once our pinkies were latched, however, she clung to me like a barnacle. She insisted that we not only pinky promise, but that we also "Pinky-kiss promise." And with that, she pulled my hand up and planted a fat kiss on my pinky. The smell of beer was overpowering. Oh, boy. "Now kiss my pinky!" she insisted. Every atom in my body wanted to scream and run. However, I raised her hand up few inches from my face and kissed the air. She insisted that I give it a real kiss. I kissed the back of my hand. She reproved me, and obstinately commanded me to kiss her pinky. I kissed the air a centimeter from her pinky. She still wasn't having it. I finally humbled myself to the dust and kissed her pinky, my lips barely making contact with knuckle before I pooled quickly away. It was more of a brush than a kiss, but she was finally appease. Then she turned to my companion and made him do it to, much to my pleasure. We walked away from that experience smelling strongly of beer and marveling at what had happened. As we walked home, another drunk man told us that Joseph Smith had communed with humans 10,000 years in the future. 
Needless to say, it was an interesting night.

Anyway, this week we spent all of our time searching for new investigators, with very slim results. However, at the end of the week we somehow ended up with 19 non members at church. Yes, there was a baby blessing, but 8 of those people were still good teaching prospects brought by members. One of the nonmembers was actually a 14 year old we had met this week that asked her member friend to bring her. We didn't think she was going to come, but she did! 
There will probably be a few baptisms here this month or next. 
Unfortunately, I am leaving the area!
That's right! It's transfer time!
President Blatter called on Saturday and informed me that I was going to go to Gig Harbor/Wollochet with Elder Quinton (Yes, Elder Wood, it is spelled with an 'O') as my new companion. I am sad to leave Centralia, but I am excited to be going to Gig Harbor. This will probably be my second to last area.
Anyway, I love you all. I hope you have a wonderful week.

We have had some very, very rainy days. They are very fun. I often pretend I am starring in the missionary version of 'Singing in the Rain'. Especially on the rare occasions that I use an umbrella (umbrellas are usually used more for twirling and opening dramatically than for rain protection).

Elder Benge

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